Chocolate Flies and Awkward Guys
by The Gay Agenda
Summary: Dexter isn't sure what to give his date on their first night out, and Daring manages to be slightly helpful. Request pairing for nikspectrarox. T for some crude humor. Oneshot


**Two Bumbling Idiots and Chocolate Covered Flies**

 **Warning: Contains OCs, crude humor, and Crackships**

Dexter Charming was many things. Smart, dorky, not even remotely athletic, and most definitely not a romantic. He wasn't like his brother, Daring, who could sweep anyone off their feet with a smile (save for the ever-so-asexual Maddie Hatter). He wasn't like Darling either; he knew little of his twin's love life, but he knew that his sister definitely had something going on with Holly O'Hair. Dexter was just Dexter. His first date with Raven was awkward. The movie was nice, but afterwards he tripped on his way home and broke his nose. Raven helped him up and kissed him on the cheek. Seconds later, Apple skipped by and stole Raven away from him. Just great for Dexter.

"So, um, Daring, can I ask you something?" But despite his lack of expertise, Dexter knew he could ask his brother for help. Daring knew everything about dating, and was often eager to help his little brother to score.

"What can I do for you, little brother?" Daring replied, staring straight into a mirror. "I mean, besides telling you your teeth aren't nearly as shiny as they should be."

Rolling his eyes, Dexter said, "I just need some dating tips." He frowned. "Like, what should I get for my date tonight?"

Daring dropped his gaze from the mirror. "You're going on a date? You? And who?"

"Uh..." Dexter rubbed his head. "You see, it's kind of...Hopper." He waited for his brother's response.

The blond guy was quiet. "You and Hopper?" He said, trying to process it. "But...you're _way_ out of his league!"

Not the response he was expecting, Dexter asked, "What do you mean?"

"We Charmings have historically dated the most important royalty in history. The frog prince is hardly that important." Daring explained pompously.

"That's unfair." Dexter said, leaning against his brother's locker. "Hopper's nice, and funny, and he has these really nice green eyes that kind of shine in the sunlight."

"Ohh, brother, you have it bad." Daring laughed. "Well, whatever makes you happy. I would normally suggest giving your date a picture of me, but that hasn't worked lately." He thought back to Cerise burning the photo. "Such a waste of beauty. But chocolate works too. Maybe, hmm...chocolate covered flies?"

"Great. And where am I going to get those?" Dexter whined.

His blond brother looked over Dex's head and smiled. "I think I know a girl. Oh, Glynn!"

Across the hall stood a tall girl with platinum blonde hair that was pulled back into a long ponytail. At the sound of her name, she spun around, pale purple eyes gleaming with mischief. "Bring it here, Charming." She called, smirking. "Or Charmings." She added, when they both walked over. "What can I do for you two?"

"My little brother here is in desperate need of chocolate covered flies." Daring explained. "Do you know anyway I can get them?"

Glynn snorted. "Do I know where you can get them. Ah, you crack me up." She turned around to shuffle through her locker. "So what do I get out of this?" She asked as she looked for the flies.

"The satisfaction of helping a happy couple?" Dexter suggested.

Glynn glared at him. "Remember, Charming, I'm a witch. I can turn you into a _newt_." She threatened. "Here we are!" The bag was thrust into Dexter's hands. "You better tell me how this turns out. And I want all of the dirty details." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yo Godwin! You gotta come see this!" One of Glynn's friends, Thea Masters, shouted from down the hall.

The witch shut her locker. "Remember Dex, use protection!" She sang as she headed to meet her friend.

Dexter looked down at the bag of flies. "Great."

"You g-got me chocolate covered flies?" Hopper stuttered happily, staring at the bag. "This is the best gift ever!"

Dexter blushed heavily. "Really? I wasn't sure if you'd like them!" He replied. "I mean, uh, no problem." He tried to be cool. "Anyway, do you, uh, want to go in?"

"Sure." Hopper smiled. They had planned to go see the newest Star Wars movie. The films were very popular these days; everyone loved how impossible they were. Lightsabers and aliens? Almost as crazy as a monster high school! Hopper and Dexter were both huge nerds who loved the films and couldn't wait to see the new movie.

The pairing entered the Multi-Hex Theater and bought their tickets. Hopper insisted on paying until he realized he had left his wallet at home. Dexter covered the price of the tickets, reassuring his date it was fine. They picked seats in the back where they could lean on the wall comfortably. Before the movie started, they chatted about this and that, with Hopper happily eating his flies.

"Want to try one?" He asked Dexter.

Unsure of what to do, Dexter took one anyway. It was savory and sweet, with a little crunch. "That's...not that bad." He finally said.

As the movie started, Dexter let Hopper feed him the flies. Hopper slowly started to lean into Dexter, getting closer and closer until he was laying in his date's lap. And as awkward as they were, they were totally happy with it.


End file.
